Stop apologizing at work for taking control of your career today

Many of us believe that saying sorry is a healthy habit to have. This is something that everybody learns during their childhood. In our early years, our parents and teachers began our training by teaching us to say thank you and sorry. Well, many people claim it’s difficult to unlearn ,the influence of childhood training is imprinted on one’s subconscious, so we never consider that a minor change in our everyday conversations will add much benefit.

It is not always helpful to apologize to anyone. Instead, be grateful to your peers, family, and coworkers for accepting you despite your flaws and errors.

When you shouldn’t say sorry

In spite of the fact that it is essential to apologize and assume liability for things that you may have accidentally messed up, but some always use the word sorry and put it into pretty much every sentence.
Quit saying “sorry” when something isn’t your responsibility or fault, you feel uncertain or awkward and aren’t sure what else to say, or you are stressed over not being preferred by others.

-I am sorry ,computer is not working.
-I am sorry ,he is not answering the call.
-I am sorry, but I disagree.
-I am sorry, I have no available appointments this week.
-I am sorry, but I have to let you go.

Why it’s important to stop apologizing in workplace

“Sorry” is a safe word for many people. This is a soothing expression. It’s the equivalent of saying “Base!” as you’re about to lose a competitive game of tag. You say it to be polite, to make yourself seem respectful and modest.

What causes some of us to engage in such a counterproductive behavior of saying “sorry”? It may be performance anxiety, such as on our first day at a new job or when we doubt our ability to keep up with the “big dogs.” It’s almost as if we’re apologizing for taking up space, which isn’t a good way to start a job or impress a client/stakeholders.

At the point when you over-apologize, you’re viably saying that what you did or said wasn’t right, which demonstrates a lack of faith in yourself and your work.

For a variety of reasons, over-apologizing at work can damage your professional image. For starters, it effects your coworkers ability to trust, believe, and have faith in your work or opinion. And this may be jeopardizing your excellent work ethic and performance.

Furthermore, over-apologizing at work will make your genuine apologies seem insincere. Many times, a sincere and heartfelt apology will immediately defuse a high-stress situation. You need as many conflict-resolution resources as possible , when it matters most. Over-apologizing will make you seem dishonest. That’s not going to work!

Over-apologizing is most frequently an unintentional reflex that is irritating at best and sends one or more unwelcome messages that can work against us at worst.
-I’m not sincere.
-I’m afraid of you.
-I don’t trust you to give me what I want if I’m not super nice.
-I don’t think I’m good enough to talk to you, ask for anything, or even be here.

When I realized my apology was issue in workplace.

Last year, when I met my new manager for the first time, I noticed my
over-apologizing was an issue. When I first walked into my manager’s office, I immediately apologized for breaking the silence.
The reality was that I wasn’t really sorry ,I had scheduled an appointment and made it a point to be right on time , above that my company which I am currently part of (United Bank Limited) has “Open Door Policy”. I knew I had nothing to apologize for, but the word slipped out of my mouth anyway, practiced for the sake of politeness and eventually repeated out of habit.
My manager kindly told me I didn’t have to apologize for my mere presence. “Right,” I replied. “Sorry.”

These were, in my mind, necessary words, spoken out of courtesy to show respect and prevent dispute. In reality, I didn’t think the apologies had to be genuine in order to be meaningful. They simply showed a level of thought that I was unable to express in other words.

I found that my excessive apologizing was having a negative impact on my ability to communicate with others. It made me seem unassertive, insecure, and inherently dishonest. Something had to improve, I knew.

Thank you is the solution

I found the answer I was searching for in “thank you.” “Thank you” conveys appreciation, positivity, and recognition while emphasizing the receiver of the words rather than the speaker, making it less self-deprecating. Instead of apologizing for people ,I now express gratitude to people

“Instead of, ‘I’m sorry I’m asking you to do this so last-minute,’ say, ‘Thank you for bearing with such a tight deadline.’ And instead of, ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t get back to you sooner,’ say, ‘Thank you for being patient; I had a lot on my plate this week,”

-If you’re hesitant to delegate work, say something like,
“We’re in a hurry, and all of these files need to be catalogued by the end of the day.” Have you got everything you’ll need to get started?”
-If you’re still apologizing about things you can’t change, try this,
“I understand I’ve had to reschedule this meeting many times.” Thank you for your patience.”
-If someone treats you badly and you become upset, say something like,
“Hey, that hurt,” or “That isn’t helpful.” You can also leave the room after saying, “I need a few minutes to compose myself.”
-If something goes wrong with your watch, try saying something like,
“The project took longer than I expected.” I’ll have it ready for you first thing in the morning tomorrow.” Then stop.
Tip:You should apologize if you missed a deadline due to your own bad time management. However, do not apologize on behalf of a coworker or a troublesome client.

Overcoming it, like any other bad habit, takes time and effort. For a moment, you’ll try to stop saying “I am sorry,” stumble, and get back on track. Start confiding in a friend or a trustworthy coworker on what you’re trying to do, and settle on a high sign he/she should give you if he/she hears you apologizing excessively. And, as a reward for your efforts, reward yourself.

So, if you’ve found yourself stuck in a “sorry” slump, give gratitude a try and watch the people in your life thank you for it.